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On claiming an identity and exploring arrogance Aug. 10th, 2010 @ 05:58 pm
So, Alexandra said something interesting the other day, and then again on a recent post of mine.

I was talking about how I feel really embarrassed and inadequate sometimes because I didn't choose to pursue math, engineering, the sciences. I am a feminist; I am supposed to be breaking boundaries and proving girls can do all kinds of manly things too. So, I often feel I ought to be awesome at mechanics, cars, carpentry, street fighting, physics, and computers, and never have to call a man to fix the water heater. Instead, what do I do? I do girly things. I do language (god, please, don't send me an article about how women's brains are designed for language and men's brains are designed for logical thinking). I do literature, art, I do knitting, social sciences. 

I am not doing the valuable or hard things. Obviously, though, the things that I do are valuable, and not everyone is good at them. I have internalized the value system that says, fields with more women in them are silly and easy, and fields with more men in them are important. So when I hang out with this engineer, even though he has not implied any kind of judgment at all I feel this anxiety about finding a way to prove I am smart and do worthwhile things and that I am not just 'another' silly girl just because I don't understand his work. I am a human being worth taking seriously.

Anyway, when I was talking about this anxiety with Alexandra, she said:

I think you should to play up your accomplishments a little when in one of these conversations when you're not feeling valuable, because you know the guys are doing it.

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Oct. 25th, 2009 @ 10:14 pm
I dislike seeing other people's inner crumblings revealing bits of themselves online, when I am unable to respond to do anything about it.

less easy to effect May. 10th, 2009 @ 07:33 pm
Do not believe there is anyone meant for you. You are meant for yourself.

As for other people, make them part of yourself, not yourself part of them, so that you may remain whole.

But probably not if I wanted children Feb. 8th, 2009 @ 11:54 pm
I sometimes think that the best life would be to just go work wherever, a bakery or bookstore or a tolerable retail locale, and spend the rest of my time writing and reading french plays and seeing interesting people.

LaVena Johnson Jul. 18th, 2008 @ 09:14 pm
Hey guys,

Usually I try not to bug people with alerts and stuff, but I think this is really really important. PVC LaVena Johnson was raped and murdered on a military base while she was serving in Iraq--and the military ruled it a suicide. Her family is trying to push Congressmembers to reopen the investigation to fix this foul, foul cover-up.

Read about it here: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10518131&pnum=0.
This one article in the New Zealand press has covered it more than we have here--it's typical U.S. press indifference to the murder of women of color. Her family is organizing almost completely on the internet.

Seriously, read it. Please. The details are disgusting, which matters only to let you know just how far the military goes to cover this up. And honestly?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY. All it does is send the message that the military doesn't give a damn about their own soldiers. Especially their women soldiers. There's NO REASON to throw your own soldiers to the wolves, on behalf of what? Fuckin rapists? It's the foulest thing I can imagine.

So here's the point: PLEASE SIGN THIS PETITION TO BRING JUSTICE FOR LAVENA JOHNSON:http://www.thepetitionsite.com/56/justice-for-lavena-johnson.

It's easy and this is such a small scale, personal effort, that it actually does mean something if you sign it, more so than all those big scale dittoed emails you usually get.

PLEASE PLEASE SIGN THIS.
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So tommorrow is the last time I plan to ever think about the SAT.

I need some way to celebrate and blow off the bullshit that afternoon. that is not-so-codespeak for degenerate teenage activity.
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Home again, home again, jiggity jig.
» <3 from Kosovo
"Boxing? No, no, the national sport is war."

Wave at NATO.




But Macedonia...

Skopje is not a city you should fall in love with. The streets are filled with trash and the buildings are grey and communist. Even the ones being built are already made of old and streaked concrete. The gypsy children wander through cafes with their baby brother thrown over their shoulder and hands outstretched so they can buy cigarettes.

And the water fountains are always running and the old women have scarves on their heads, especially when you cross the bridge, and the kids have flags on their shirts and drink some more yogurt, Mama says you must eat minimum ten kebaps, you are much too thin, and the city is nestled in the hillls.
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